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[04 Dec 2005|06:51pm] |
So yes. Basically. Here's whats going on.
My house had a sinkhole last year. The people fixing it basically fucked up my house even more, repairs are still being made. Yes, the repairs are coming along slowly because we're fucking poor, but hey, thats ok.
Well, our home owners insurance dropped us. So we got new coverage. They just dropped us too.
My parents pay their mortage on time, but in order to hold a mortage, you must have home owners insurance.
So, if we dont get new insurance soon, we lose the house.
Meaning, we have to move into an apartment. Or back to New York to live with my grandparents.
Now, while the chances of going to New York are slim, I hope to dear God we go.
I fucking want out of here. Im so sick of everything. Im sick of everyone. I want NEW things going on around me. I want to be miserable someplace else. I want to be with my cousins, aunts, and sick grandfather. I want to be surrounded by people I know wont let me down.
I can honestly say that if it came down to having to leave Florida, Id seriously only miss about three or four people. The rest of you, Id just wave goodbye and leave. But would you even notice? Probably not.
And to be quite honest, I dont even care.
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[04 Nov 2005|07:50am] |
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mood |
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 whatever |
] |
So like..Im so incredibly unhappy, lonely, and disappointed.
But it's almost like..I've come to terms with that. That its ok that Im unhappy.
There's really nothing I can do to change it at the moment, so why dwell ya know? Just do the best with what I've got..
But the whole disappointed part..yea. That sucks.
I'll just say this.
You're right. You're not who I thought you are. You like to do and say things when it's good for you and then just..ignore me until its a good time for you to talk to me again. Like I've said a million times, I know that you have a life. But still..I just think the way you handle things kinda sucks ass. And I know it's my own fault for having "high hopes" or whatever, but considering you were sitting there half the time kinda saying the same things I was..it was hard not to. And also considering Im like..completely in love with you. And I have no idea why..no idea. Because I dont even know you anymore. And I know that since we're kinda falling apart now, it'll never be the same again. And eventually..we'll just stop talking. And you'll never stop to think of me again. And after all we've been through...that's whats disappointing. Ive had you on this pedestal ever since..well..ever since I put you there. I guess its time to take it down.
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[05 Oct 2005|07:17am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
] |
My life..is basically non existant.
I get up. I go to school. I go to work. I go cheer. I come home. I sleep.
I dont have time to really "go out", but yet, Im broke.
I feel so distant from all my friends and it really sucks.
I wish I could be like..a normal 18 year old.
But I guess there's really no set standard of "normal", is there?
I dunno.
Gay.
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[23 Sep 2005|05:17pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:12 PM]: so i think im gonna try n look cute tonight :)
Ew i think not [5:12 PM]: like omg good luck
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:13 PM]: suck my dick bitch
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:13 PM]: lol
Ew i think not [5:13 PM]: roflroflrofl
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:13 PM]: god i hate you
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:13 PM]: lol
Ew i think not [5:13 PM]: thats really cool
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:13 PM]: of course! so try and look cute as well :)
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:13 PM]: you can TRY
Ew i think not [5:13 PM]: pft
Ew i think not [5:13 PM]: fuck that
Ew i think not [5:13 PM]: i gave up before i was born
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:14 PM]: lmao i gave up as a baby fetus on looking cute
Ew i think not [5:14 PM]: you always look cute, assmuncher
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:14 PM]: no i was talking about you bumfuck...
Ew i think not [5:14 PM]: oh
Ew i think not [5:14 PM]: lol
Ew i think not [5:14 PM]: well yea
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:14 PM]: but hey thanks lol
Ew i think not [5:14 PM]: lol
Ew i think not [5:14 PM]: i was in the womb and i was like "..fuck this shit"
x3 hCo CuTie x3 [5:15 PM]: LMAO
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[22 Sep 2005|09:23pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
] |
It's so good to be FREE!
So yea..For anyone who doesnt know..I got a new cell number. IM me or whatever to get it..
Apparently, I've been sleeping with someone I knew from PPark last year.
The sex cant have been very good, cuz I dont remember it. And according to Amanda Killen and such, we've done it several times.
This is the reason I graduated last year. To escape this retarded drama.
Nothing else really going on..My life kinda smells.
The highlight of the month will be Kristy's house warming bash thingy on Saturday ;D Wooot! Cant wait..I've never been to a "party"
Anyways..Yea..Dunno.
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[08 Sep 2005|08:04pm] |
Yay for new LiveJournal icons!
I think this one is great ;x lol
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[05 Sep 2005|09:38am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
Yay! I got a new car!!
It's a '99 Mitsubishi Montero
Everyone's like "omfg, why would you get a SUV with the way gas is?!"
It's actually not that bad on gas..yet. And I love it. It has power everything..and a sunroof..-dies-
The only thing it didnt have that I wanted was a CD player..but I'll get over it lol.
Also had my first week at Publix, its not that bad..Cool people and all that stuff.
My parents left me alone for the weekend and went to see Dennis, Rachel, and Kyra.
Rachel's parents are still there too because they havent been able to get back into New Orleans's or whatever..
My uncle Tom and I were suppose to go up there yesterday cuz of a "family emergancy" thing..but as soon as we got near Ocala my dad called us and said to go home. Fucker. I called off work and everything. I was semi pissed.
But, I am driving to Valapriso in about two weeks to spend the weekend with my bubba, Rachel, and my niece..who I havent seen since she was born ;(
Oh well..not much else to update about ;/
Happy early bday Nean and Scott ;D
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[30 Aug 2005|09:38pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
So, my week has sucked so much ass.
And it's only Monday.
Yesterday, I found out that I was dropped from all my classes because something happened with my loan. I didnt sign the "promisary note" or some bullspit.
Well, I took care of that..Im re-enrolled..etc
Im definitley starting to like college. I havent made any real "friends" but I talk to people in my classes. Honestly, Im not worried about meeting people to hang out with and stuff. I dont really have time for it and Im perfectly content on who I see now. And there's other old friends I dont see a lot, that I wish I saw more of (Brian, Kristy, etc)
But back to the bad shit.
As most of you know..my car makes a noise thats simular to a space shuttle launch.
Well, the noise in the past 3 days has gotten increasingly BAD. I took it to a guy yesterday and he told me I definitley need to rebuild my transmission. Which would cost around $1500.
"So..I might as well buy a new car..?"
"..I didnt say that."
Bullshit. Lianne is buying a new car.
Well, when I was on my way to school today, I was merging on 19..
I got to maybe 55 and my car basically died. Its dead. Gone forever. I can barely accelerate about 35mph anymore. And all it does is shake and make ugly noises.
So, we went to Maher Chevy today. I was looking for a Cavalier..Which they had none under $15,000.
And since I is po'..I need something cheaper. I found a Sunfire for $10500 but my dad said I should look at another dealership to see if they have a Cavalier..
And if I dont find one tomorrow..The Sunfire will be mine by 9:00pm August 31st, 2005.
Woo! Yay for new cars.
And as of right now, my sister-in-laws parents have NO idea whats going on with their house in New Orleans. The last they heard was that a tree fell on it..
But God only knows whats happened since then.
Rachel and Dennis were suppose to be coming for the weekend, but I doubt thats happening now. Especially considering the fact Dennis is probably leaving for Egypt on Sunday. Woo.
I also started Publix today..It's ok I guess..I still havent officially caught the hang of everything yet, but it's simple enough. Not mention, the lady training me wasnt too pleasant.
And I was so nervous..so I rushed everything I was doing..I just need to "chill"
Blah..Im done for now lol
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[23 Aug 2005|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
] |
Ok, so I know its not even September yet..but since Im overly anal..I wanna get a good idea of what Im doing..
Is anyone still planning on going to Halloween Horror Night on October 14th with me?
On the Universal website, it says if you're a Florida resident and have a coke can you can get a ticket for like $39.50 compared to $60. Good times.
Also, the hotel I stayed at when I went to Orlando with Kristy and Brian is $59 a night. Not bad. Not bad. Shari's sister-in-law is telling me that she might be able to get me a room at the hotel is works at for like $32, but thats only one room. And her being the manager, I dont think she'd appreciate it if we all packed in like Mexicans in a F150. And I dont know how much rooms without a discount are.
I dont even know if anyone even wants to go. I could basically just be talking to myself. But oh well. Im bored anyway.
Otherwise, college kinda sucks. I dont know anyone in my classes on Monday and Wednesday and then I know Erin in my ethics class and Cathy Colson and Lisa Weiland are in my composition class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Its not like I was ever really friends with them in high school, but at least they're familiar faces, ya know?
None of my classes seem that hard..But since Im such a slacker, Im sure it'll suck.
Oh well.
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[22 Aug 2005|01:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cranky |
] |
So, currently..Im sitting in my school's computer lab. My last class ended over an hour ago.
Why am I sitting in the computer lab when I could be at home? Staring at the refridgerator, but not eating. Looking at my speech book, but not reading the chapter?
Because I locked my freakin' keys in my freakin' car.
Im beyond pissed. I couldnt wait to go home. But no. I had to be a spaz.
I hate my life.
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[19 Aug 2005|03:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
Ok, so please dont ask what's with me and the Spice Girls lately. I watched Spice World a few weeks ago..and ever since then I've been "jammin" to them lol.
You know the layout's hot tho ;D
Tehehez.
So, school starts Monday.
Got all my books.
I have NO idea where my classes are though. I have to study some stupid map for the next two days..
Wee.
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[19 Aug 2005|03:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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peeved! |
] |
Some fucker sideswiped me in the RaceTrak parking lot and basically took off my right side mirror.
Bastard.
I'll hunt them down and gut them like a fish ;x
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[14 Aug 2005|07:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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about to commit homocide |
] |
"Im sorry..I needed a break..give me time"
FUCKING BULLSHIT.
YOU CAN KISS MY FUCKING ASS.
YOU NEED A GOD DAMN BREAK? WHAT ABOUT ME? IM THE ONE WHO NEEDED A DAMN BREAK FROM GOING BROKE.
AND I FUCKING LOVE HOW 'TAKING A BREAK' INCLUDES FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT WALKS IN FRONT OF YOU.
SON OF A FUCKING BITCH I HATE HIM.
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[12 Aug 2005|09:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 restless |
] |
So, I was suppose to have a doctor's appointment for my arthritis today at 9am..
What time did I get up?
9:10 :)
So yea, I have to wait almost a month for another appointment. Who knew that these doctors have clients coming out of their anus?
Anyways, school starts soon...Im really nervous.
But, I might have a class with Jen (which we didnt even plan..) so that makes me a tiny bit happy.
So, my weekend consists of going to the field tonight to help hand out squad shirts, shoes, and shorts for tomorrow's game..Tomorrow they have a game at Dixie -gags- and sunday Im hoping I'll be able to talk someone into going to Busch Gardens with me.
God, my life is so exciting its overwhelming.
-rolls eyes-
I need to get out more.
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[07 Aug 2005|01:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
Ok, so.."someone" told me I should start journaling and such..Writing down my random feelings.
I wrote this a lil while ago..and for some reason feel like posting it.
I know all of the follow is old, boring news.
So you dont have to bother reading it :)
I look back on my relationship with Steven and ask myself "why?"
Why did I stay so long?
Why did I give him all my money?
Why did I give him my innocence?
I think it basically all comes down to my constant need to feel wanted.
Even though, a lot of times, I didnt even feel wanted. I felt used. Maybe even worthless sometimes.
I cant and dont blame him for whatever "emotional damage" I may have. I put myself through it. He didnt tie me down and force me to take his shit. I could have left any time I wanted to.
But I didnt. I wanted to. But I stayed.
And even now, after Im finally, truely, saying Im done, I cant help but imagine that when he does call me (if ever) that I'll go see him. That things will go back to the way they were.
But I cant allow that. I have to be strong. Because I dont deserve to be mistreated by anyone.
With my almost non existant confidence level its hard to drill that into my head. That I can mean more to someone than a pair of open legs and an ATM card..But I have to try to believe that.
Anyways, Im a firm believe that you live and you learn. You go through certain experiences and learn warning signs of situations you dont wanna be in. And those lessons only make you a better, stronger person. Even if its not right away.
And now that I think about it, Im pretty sure Steven was right about one thing.
I only "loved" him because I didnt know any better.
..But I do now.
:)
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[05 Aug 2005|11:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 just dandy |
] |
XsTyLuS01:so you're home now where were "out" at
X3VerucaSaltX3: umm went to see a movie at parkside and then marble slab
X3VerucaSaltX3: got to see all the cool middle school kids hangin' out around the movie theater..it was awesome
XsTyLuS01: lol oh joy i bet
X3VerucaSaltX3: i was like...
X3VerucaSaltX3: damn..i wish i could be as cool as them
X3VerucaSaltX3: but, alas..i never will be
XsTyLuS01: and what makes them cool
X3VerucaSaltX3: how they say "fuck" every other word
X3VerucaSaltX3: their "bling"
X3VerucaSaltX3: hoochie skirts
X3VerucaSaltX3: stuff like that
XsTyLuS01: how the fuck do they fucking have fucking bling in fucking middle fucking school
XsTyLuS01: what the fuvk
X3VerucaSaltX3: fuckin ask their fuckin parents
XsTyLuS01: i'd fucking rather fuck you
X3VerucaSaltX3: -giggles like a middle school girl-
XsTyLuS01: lol
Tehe, never a dull moment with James. He's quite amusing.
In other news..
I HAVE A/C IN MY CAR NOW!
I took it to Tire Kingdom and asked them to do a "diagnostic" thing and tell me what was wrong with it..and the dude did something to it and fixed it. This made Lianne quite happy.
I also got the haircut from hell today.
I have these ugly "long" bangs that make me wish I was dead every time I look in the mirror.
Saw "Must Love Dogs" tonight with my mom, Jan, and Shari..its SUCH a good movie..everyone should see it.
And I officially hate ALL guys and wish harmful things upon their peepees :)
K, done for now.
I miss you, Brittany!
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[31 Jul 2005|08:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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full |
] |
So, I've been in New York since tuesday. Had some pretty good times.
Aunt Kathy dyed my hair thursday night. I hate it. Im now convinced dark hair DOES NOT work for me.
We watched Darkness. That movie scared the shit out of me.
Then last night I dyed Brittany's hair.
And today she dyed Aunt Kathy's hair. That made us giggle..Each of us dyed someone's hair..hehe. Yea. I'll shut up.
We're going to the mall tomorrow..woohoo. How exciting.
Michael, my 3 year old cousin, is hilarious. I adore him and think I'll take him home with me.
My mom asked me "are you looking foward to school?"
Hells no.
I dont want to go to school. Ew. I want to be a bum.
Especially since I'm starting to have second thoughts about majoring in education. I mean, yea..I wanna be a teacher. But its almost like I feel I should be doing something else. I dunno.
Only time will tell I suppose..
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| Stole this from Derek ;D |
[20 Jul 2005|12:29pm] |
. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. I will tell you something only the two of us will understand.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. Put this in your journal
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[19 Jul 2005|03:35pm] |
I hate the Pinellas County School Board.
I hope they all fucking rot in hell.
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[16 Jul 2005|02:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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busy |
] |
Ok, so Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was the best ever.
So much better than I could have imagined, really.
"MUMBLER!!" HAHA omg.
Anyways, the Harry Potter party was fun too. I remember the party for Order of the Phoenix being so different though. Oh well.
The book is really good so far..even though Im only on chapter four or something.
A lot of "OMG WTF?!" things too..but I wont say anything ;x
Not that I know anyone else who reads this, besides Katie, that even bothers to read the books..Oh well ;D
-sigh- I have to work today and I really dont want to.
My mom is away for a couple of days going to see my brother..It's his bday today too..So I guess I should call him.
And then I leave for New York a week from tuesday! Woohooooo!
Yea..Im done ;D
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